Hi

I've not vanished off the face of the earth on blogging, honest.


I've got loads to do, it;s just that every time I sit down this happens so I never get anything done. I'll be back on it eventually!

Christmas performance

So it's that time of year again and Older Boy had his pre school Christmas performance. A few weeks ago he told me he was going to be a wise man (Spiderman-obviously) and he was giving baby 'Jeebus' the gift of cheese (!?!). After speaking to his teacher she told us the 'play' wasn't going to happen because most of the children were too little to co-operate so it was just going to be singing.

So the stage was set, all the littles were on stage and ready to go. The curtain opened. All the children stood scared of all the parents faces staring back at them.

Except my son. Older boy was jumping up and down and waving "hello!!" He was setting the scene for the rest of his performance.

They started off singing 'twinkle twinkle" and it was sweet.

Then they sung 'Jingle bells'. Just had everything crossed the next line wasn't 'Santa smells' and it wasn't. So far so good.

Then it was time for 'When Santa got stuck up the chimney' The song finished. The 2 seconds of silence came before the next song started when Older Boy jumps to the front of the stage, stands next to his teacher and yells

Me and Daddy go red. We know what his jokes are like. They are either along the lines of "Knock Knock" *who's there* "PENIS!!" Or just yelling something like "Boobies!!" Or his new favourite "How does the dog get to hospital?" "With a fan" (I know, it makes no sense, he made it up)

Me and Daddy sit there, red faced laughing nervously and hearing all the other parents laughing when Older Boy shouts..

Phew, it was clean, and nothing too weird. And his teacher stopped him before he carried on with something inappropriate.

The performance carries on and they shout the song "WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS" and then  it was over. 

It went well. But why is it my child being the goof on stage? He is special!

The spelling and reading is coming on

So we were going grocery shopping the other day. When we got out the car Older Boy looked up and the shop sign and said

I looked at the same place he was looking as I couldn't imagine what he could see that was slept AsaA

He's getting there

Learning to talk

On the eve on Younger boys second birthday (sob!!) I feel it only fair that he gets his own comedy post.

He is amazing good at talking although a few of his words need a little interpretation

I Spy

We all know the game I Spy. Older boy is just starting to understand letters a spelling simple words so this is one of his new favourite games.

We were walking home from a visit to the grand parents when he asked Daddy if they could play. Happy to oblige they start playing

A little confused Daddy starts looking around but presumes the thing Older Boy can see is in his head (this happens a lot) so he starts guessing O words

Starts with a simple O word, then starts moving onto his friends

Daddy pauses to think of more words when Older boy says

The conversation continues...

Older boy stops, thinks then starts again, correcting himself

Fun day

We have been to many fun days over the summer. This particular one had a police van for children to look around and sit in.

Not everyone will know but there is a loud speaker in a police van. Older boy was quite reserved this time in what he said over the loud speaker in front of about 1000 people

Younger boy however

Willie

So, older boy was on his potty doing a wee. He was just watching it (if you have boys, or you are a boy you'll understand why he was looking) when he said

Ahhhh!

Older Boy is on a roll with embarrassing us recently. This past weekend he did two biggies

First, on a tip to Tesco he went for a toilet trip with Daddy and this happened

Second, we'd gone on a trip to the doctor for his pre-school jabs when a 30+ stone man walked through. And Older boy did this

Just hoping he's done for a bit now. Not sure we can take any more!! 

Running

We went for a nice walk in the sun today. When we were walking home the lovely sunshine had gone a bit to Older Boy's head and he was running up the pavement in front of us

As we didn't want him to run off we shouted him back and his response was...

Equally not as helpful we shouted him back. Only this time he had a cunning plan to get back at us

Doing his best slow motion running impression behind us we couldn't help but laugh at his ingenuity

Apple of my eye

Do you ever look at your children and think 'How did I create that'?

I don't mean in this sort of way

I mean in more this kind of way

The Phone

First I wanted to say "Hi" I haven't vanished, life is just getting away with me and I've been really busy. I've got loads to blog about but it's just finding the time to do it! I could do with about 4 more hours in every day.

So...to the blog post

Older boy loves talking on the phone. He has recently taken it upon himself to answer the phone before I get to it and chatting to anyone on the other end. A few times it has actually been someone important which is a bit embarrassing, but the people on the other end have always been OK with it.

So recently...he did this...

Girl friend

Older boy has a girlfriend. He talks about her quite a bit

Last week was the end of term Easter fair. I saw them together. They were like this

Yes they are 3. Yes there was quite a lot of kissing

So I asked him when we got home what he liked so much about her

Match made in Heaven!!

Nappy washing day

Picture the scene. It's nappy washing day and everything is going well. Younger one is in a fresh clean nappy, the weather is perfect of drying and they are all in the washing machine.

Everything is going well when one of 3 things happens. I mean ALWAYS happens..

Number 1

I forget one nappy which is wet and smelly and has to wait another 2/3 days to get washed

Number 2

It starts raining. As any cloth nappy user will know, it's hard getting nappies dry inside when your heating isn't on

And at number 3

The poop-splosion. Obviously the youngest ones favourite. And a poop-splosion will ALWAYS happen just as you have turned the washing machine on, so again it has to wait another 2/3 days to get washed

If I'm feeling really unlucky then all three will happen but I'm guaranteed that one of them will

Older boy going on the potty

Older boy has a potty down stairs as walking upstairs for a 3 year old to go to the toilet is WAY too much effort. Younger boy has just become interested in it. This started a few days ago when he was crying because I was going upstairs to go to the toilet.

So when I came back down he kept pointing to the potty so I got down to him and he sat on it, quite happy, just with all his clothes on.

Since then he has decided every time Older boy uses the potty he has to go and watch. Older boy is quite happy with this

With this new potty excitement Younger boy has learned a very important word

So now when Older boy actually does a poo it goes like this

(I have no idea why Older boy has to do some yoga pose for me to wipe his bum)

He does often get a good look before I move the potty (a 'my speed' issue). But I've said it before and I'll say it again. Boys are gross!!!

I can taste the bubbles

American Pie 2. Have you seen it? The bit where the character Stifler thinks he's having Champaign poured on him but it's actually wee?

Picture the scene. It's nearly bedtime and the boys are playing with Daddy, mid getting ready for bed, so they are naked. Younger boy is on the bed. He moves close to the edge and holding tightly onto the bed rail...

People who help us

We got a letter today from Pre school today telling us what is going on this term. The letter said that they would be getting a visit from 'people who help us' so the police, fire service and paramedics.

I knew this was happening so we have been telling him the police were coming first and he's been excited.

So we asked him

I think he was feeling a bit optimistic 

Kissing it better

I like kissing my children, but they are boys, and not that keen on kisses. So when they hurt them self it's a great excuse to give them a big kiss and a cuddle.

It was bed time and they boys were playing around with nothing on. I nipped downstairs for something and I could hear Older boy shouting "Mummy! Mummy!" So I got upstairs and asked him what was wrong

I see him grabbing at his crotch. But I ask anyway in case I'm wrong. Fearing the worst he lefts up his willy and says says...

Now I love my son, but the 'get better kisses' have their limitations!!

I'm saved!!